Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

Why did you step on my watermelon?

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

5 Italian guys from Long Island

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

Actual jokes are now obsolete.

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...