When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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