whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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