Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

oh hey.

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

BIG MAC'S

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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