If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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