what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Go away still nothing to see

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25

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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Ross.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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