Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

What is black and has no education A tire.

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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