My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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no rasist joks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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