Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Hello.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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