Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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