Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

Donald Trump

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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