Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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