"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Faithful men.

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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