What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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