A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops