A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Andoni was here

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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