Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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