What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Faithful men.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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