An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops