A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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