Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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