Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops