A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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TRICERATOPS!

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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