A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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