What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Women's Rights

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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