What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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