What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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