There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who is Dank? A: Billal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

thumb_up thumb_down -1

KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops