Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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69

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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