Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down

Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops