What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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