So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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