What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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