Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops