Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Death by kayak

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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