When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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