Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

thumb_up thumb_down

How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

thumb_up thumb_down

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

thumb_up thumb_down

When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

thumb_up thumb_down -2

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the black man get into college? A mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops