So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops