Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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