Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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