Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Happy Monday!

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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