Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops