Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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