What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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