How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What do I hate? people

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops