What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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