Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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