A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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