Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

How do five gay guys walk? In One Direction: 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

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi lasdjf;lasdjf'liasndkjv afv kaf bk fvj adjkfg akd glkjsa nkgj adfkg kad g sdfk kwjt hjqwneog dfog qi4g oist hbioer voi fboiq erob ogi boiqer boie boi wreoig eoi AKSDNFK;SANFKANSDFLJNASDKFNASLDFN VOOL?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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