Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a black man walks out of popeyes

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was kade sad? he shit himself

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is red and smells like paint red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops