Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops