How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Flowers are colors Love me

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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