Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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