What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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