one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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jews

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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96

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops