What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -14

2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops