Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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