What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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