How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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