What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

Ben Corbishley

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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