- Anti Joke

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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