Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do I hate? people

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the fish? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

thumb_up thumb_down -14

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops