Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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