Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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Donald Trump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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