woman's lacrosse

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you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops