Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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