What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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