Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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Whats two plus two Four!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops