Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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