What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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