knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

What rhymes with milk...milf

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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