What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

You dropped something.... Yo lip

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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