what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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