What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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