how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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