How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Chuck Norris.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What's worse than this That :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops