Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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