Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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