A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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