when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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