What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

what do you call a sick eagle illegal

Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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