What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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