What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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