What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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