What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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