Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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