There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Choir.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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